Crying over spilled milk

I've heard so many old wives tales since finding out I was pregnant. It would shock you to know some of the things people have told me. I'm just amazed! They say if you crave salty, it's a boy, and if you crave sweets, it's a girl. I crave both. So who knows. Ever since this whole thing started, about 3 months ago... my body feels so different. Mostly good, but some things are a little different. For one, my pants are too tight. Not really impossible to wear, but just tighter than usual. I can barely fit into maternity clothes, but with the hot hot hot August heat, I wear whatever is comfy right now.

I have never been graceful. Ever. Ever Ever. I was clumsy in ballet class. On the softball field. At home. At school. At church. You name it. Ask my mother, she can vouch for me on this one. However, being pregnant has made me even clumsier than before. How is this possible when you're already a klutz? I have no idea. I'm not clumsy in the I'm-about-to-fall sense, just the knocking-everything-over sense.

Today, I realized just how clumsy I really am. I decided to have a glass of milk. Big deal for me because I do not like milk (unless it's in my cereal or latte). I poured a big 'ol glass, sat on the couch, and then somehow emptied it all over myself. Ugh. Then, upon looking to my left, I realized my iphone, cordless phone, and remote control were all covered in milk. I freaked out, but luckily, I acted quickly. The phone costs $10, the remote is replaceable. The iPhone.... not so cheap. I snatched up the iphone, dried it off with a towel and cried while clorox-wiping it clean. It's completely unharmed and works perfectly. The remote control, however, did not make it. I am sorry to announce that I killed the remote. :( R.I.P. remote.

I had to take the slipcover off the couch, toss it in the washer, rinse the couch cushions off in the tub, and clorox wipe the stew out of the cordless phone. Other than the remote, everything survived the lactose attack. New rule: no drinking beverages on the couch if there are any electronics nearby. Not a drop.

After I cleaned everything up, I just sat in the middle of the floor and cried for a while. Why was I crying? It was a silly remote control. I didn't even like it anyway and had planned on getting a better universal remote soon. That wasn't the point. The point was that usually when crises like this happen, I have someone there to help me. He's not here. He can't help me.

I am 24 years old, sitting in the middle of my living room floor, crying. What is happening to me? I mean, I know pregnancy hormones have taken over my body, but this is intense. I called my mother to tell her what had happened. I left out the crying in the middle of the floor part. I tried to laugh it off. Inside, it hurt a lot. I am extremely independent, but being married has made me more dependent on him. Nothing prepares you for this. No matter how often you hear, "I know how you feel" or "I know what you're going through," (from people who have *never* been in your shoes) it doesn't make anything better. It just frustrates me to know the only thing I have control over is my nutrition. I am focusing on that right now. The one thing I can make better is my body's nutrients for this baby.

After I cried, I stretched out on the love seat and just stared at the ceiling. A few seconds later, I felt something move in my belly, right below my belly button. It felt like bubbles and it was like God knew I needed a reminder that everything was going to be okay. It helped more than anything else. Little baby, you are my hero. You have the power to bring a smile to my face when nothing else does. I love you so much already. :)